|
|
Discipline
Between 9 months to 1 year, parents can begin to establish the basics of discipline. Obviously at this age, we are not talking about strict military, "Drop and give me five!" limits at this age. You may want to begin with gently re-directing your baby from objects you may not want him/her to touch. Three important factors in establishing discipline at home:
| Consistency: |
Setting Effective Limits: |
Balance: |
| Keep to the same expectations day in and day out. For example, a common mistake parents make is that something may be alright to do one day and then punishable the next. Some days it might be OK with you if you have to ask your child 4 or 5 times before they do something, then other days you can't stand it if your child won't do something immediately. These inconsistencies confuse your child and undermine your attempts at discipline. Keep your own behavior consistent with what you tell your children. If you want your children to treat other people nicely, then it follows that you cannot scream at the pizza delivery man for arriving one minute late. |
Remember how old your child is. Children are able/unable to do different things at different ages. Discussing all the philosophical pro's and con's about why you shouldn't hit other children with a young toddler is probably not worthwhile. Establishing a reasonable tone and showing your toddler you want to talk to them is probably more important than the words of the actual discussion. Keep it simple and appropriate. Clear right and wrong for this young age is best. |
The answer of a discipline problem is usually not more punishment. Punishment has to be balanced with reward. A child can not receive attention only when he/she does something wrong. Plenty of positive reinforcement has to be there so that it's noticeable to the child when it is withdrawn. The flip side is that when a child has stepped over the bounds whatever the family has determined, the child has to clearly know that he/she has done something wrong. It is probably not unreasonable to expect a teary eye from the child when he/she is being told what was wrong. A genuine acknowledgment of your disapproval is an effective goal. Your message is probably lost if the child is laughing and smiling throughout the situation. |
Finding the proper balance is pretty difficult, but try to avoid extreme measures. Neither excessive permissiveness where anything goes nor spankings prove to be very effective. Spanking is a particularly difficult topic. Some people say it's the ultimate way to provide a clear limit. Unfortunately, it is too often used as a last ditch, "I've had it with you" resort. At this point the child doesn't necessarily learn what you were trying to teach, but instead learns "Mom or Dad hit me when they get really mad." The real lesson gets lost.
|
|
